The first two weeks of settling in at nursery: a day-by-day plan for working parents
Your return-to-work date is set, the nursery start date is set, and there are two weeks in between. How you plan them decides how short and calm settling in will be.
One of the questions working parents ask most when choosing a nursery is: "When can I go back to work?" The honest answer is that settling in usually takes 5 to 10 working days, and for the first half of that time you need to be at the club too. If you put your return to work on the same day as the nursery start, both you and your child will struggle. Here is the two-week plan we have used at Pırpır for years, laid out for a working parent’s calendar.
The week before you start
Settling in starts at home, not at the nursery door. A week before, talk about the nursery as "the place we’ll be going" — calmly, as an ordinary place. Show the garden when you walk past. If your baby is joining the baby group, write down their sleep and feeding times: last feed, how they fall asleep, what soothes them fastest. We give this to the key educator on the first day and the baby’s timetable is written around it.
Pack the bag together: spare clothes, non-slip indoor shoes and one familiar thing from home — a small cloth or a toy. The familiar object is the bridge your child carries between home and nursery; put their name on it so it doesn’t get lost.
Days 1 and 2: an hour together
On the first two days you stay in the room with your child for about an hour. All we ask is that you are there: sitting in a corner, not joining the play, not pushing your child towards the teacher. Your child uses you as a safe base, wandering off and coming back. Meanwhile the teacher comes closer, finds the toy your child likes and uses their name often. Half a day off work is enough for these two days; arriving around 09:30 and leaving before lunch works best.
Days 3 and 4: you in the room, them in the play
From the third day the time gets longer and you move to the edge of the room. On day four we try the first short separation: "I’m going to get a coffee and I’ll be back", and you leave for 10–15 minutes. Always say goodbye. Slipping out looks easier on the day, but the next morning your child will try never to let you out of sight, and settling in takes longer. Choose one short sentence for goodbyes and use it every day: "I’ll come after lunch."
Day 5 and the second week: longer separations
By the end of the first week most children can stay without you until lunch. In the second week we add the nap — the most delicate step, because the child learns to sleep in an unfamiliar bed with unfamiliar sounds. On the first nap days we ask you to collect your child as soon as they wake. By the middle of the second week we move to full days, and you can go back to work; in that first full-day week, try to collect around 17:00 if you can.
Is crying normal?
Yes. Crying at goodbye is part of settling in, and for most children it stops a few minutes after the door closes. What matters to us is whether the child can return to play, eat and sleep during the day. That’s why the report card matters: reading that the child who cried at the door finished their lunch and didn’t want to leave the sandpit is what parents need most. We also send short photo messages twice a day.
A short checklist
- Put your return to work at least a week after the nursery start.
- Plan half days off for the first two days and flexible hours for week two.
- Give us sleep and feeding times in writing.
- One familiar object from home and named spare clothes.
- The same goodbye sentence every day; no slipping out.
- Come when you said you would.
